How to Take Back Control of Your Life

Take Back Control of Your Life by Becoming Self-Made

"You wake up feeling overwhelmed, already behind, and unsure how you’ll make progress on the things that matter most. Let’s change that."

Shonda Rhimes, the creative genius behind Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder, was at the peak of her career when she realized something was missing. Despite her monumental success, she felt disconnected, overworked, and unfulfilled. Her life had become a series of tasks, leaving no room for the things that truly mattered to her.

In her book Year of Yes, Shonda shares how one offhand comment—“You never say yes to anything”—sparked a profound change. Determined to realign her life with her values, she spent a year intentionally saying yes to opportunities that enriched her, such as spending quality time with her children, stepping into public roles, and even finding time for fun.

But to say yes to the right things, Shonda had to make room for them. This meant rethinking her schedule, setting boundaries, and eliminating habits that no longer served her. By aligning her time with her values and leveraging feelings of empowerment and purpose, she transformed her life.

Her journey mirrors what we call Becoming Self-Made—taking control of your time, decisions, and emotions to create a life you love. The Becoming Self-Made Goal Planner is designed to guide you through this transformation. Here’s how.

Step 1: Clarify Your Priorities

Becoming Self-Made begins with clarity. You can’t achieve your goals if you don’t know what they are or if your schedule doesn’t reflect what matters most.

Define Weekly Commitments and Non-Negotiables

Write down the commitments that align with your values, such as family time, career milestones, or health routines. These are your non-negotiables—activities that must take precedence over everything else.

Identify Actions That Move You Closer to Your Goals

Consider the specific actions that will help you achieve your long-term aspirations. Whether it’s working on a creative project, exercising, or building a new skill, these are the steps that drive progress.

Eliminate the Noise

Free up time by identifying distractions or self-sabotaging habits, like excessive email checking or saying yes to commitments that don’t serve your goals. Clearing these obstacles creates space for intentional actions.

Step 2: Leverage Self-Made Feelings

Your feelings drive your behaviors, and your behaviors create your results. To achieve your goals, you must learn to manage and leverage the right emotions.

Recognize Self-Sabotaging Feelings

Feelings like fear, doubt, or overwhelm can hold you back from taking action. Use the planner to identify when these feelings arise and challenge the thoughts driving them.

Create Intentional Feelings

Replace self-sabotaging emotions with empowering ones, like confidence, determination, or curiosity. The planner helps you generate these feelings by guiding you to focus on intentional thoughts, such as, “I am capable of figuring this out” or “Every step I take brings me closer to my goal.”

By mastering your emotions, you’ll stay motivated and aligned with your purpose.

Step 3: Time Block with Purpose

A successful week starts with a reset. Use the Becoming Self-Made Goal Planner to map out your commitments, actions, and non-negotiables for the week ahead.

Weekly Commitments

Dedicate specific blocks of time to activities tied to your goals. These include essential tasks like work projects, personal development, or family responsibilities.

Actions That Get You Closer to Your Goals

Identify the high-impact steps you’ll take each week to make measurable progress. These might include working on a presentation, exercising regularly, or networking with key contacts.

Non-Negotiables

Protect your time for rest, relationships, and personal care. These moments are crucial for maintaining energy and focus.

Weekly Reset

At the end of each week, review what worked and what didn’t. Adjust your time blocks for the upcoming week, ensuring they align with your priorities. This practice keeps you intentional and adaptable, even when life throws curveballs.

Step 4: Commit to Consistency

Consistency doesn’t mean perfection—it means showing up, learning, and adjusting as you go.

Build Accountability

Share your schedule and goals with a coach, mentor, or trusted friend. Having someone to check in with creates external motivation and reinforces your commitment.

Be Flexible

Life will inevitably throw challenges your way. When that happens, adjust your schedule without losing sight of your big-picture goals. The planner’s structure is designed to help you stay adaptable while remaining focused.

Take the First Step: Clarify Your Priorities

Shonda Rhimes transformed her life by aligning her time with her values and intentionally managing her commitments. You can do the same by becoming Self-Made, starting with clarifying your priorities.

Sign up for our free workshop, “Clarify Your Priorities,” and discover how to define what matters most and eliminate what doesn’t. This is your first step toward creating a life aligned with your goals, and we’re here to guide you every step of the way.

Sign Up for the Free Workshop Now!